Julia Cameron talks about going on a date with your soul – your artist’s soul. So today, with hubby and daughter safely dispatched to have fun at Lollipops Playland, I looked forward with RELISH to some peace and quiet and the glories of solitude. 🙂 First things first, I needed a hallowed place. So I cleared a spot in the family room, opened the ranchslider to the secret garden and immediately felt the cool wind whip the lace curtain and fan my face. Well hello there, it teased.
Food for the soul can wait. I needed food for the body. With glee, I poured some fruity chardonnay into a crystal wine goblet, then prepared a slight repast of crackers crowned with tasty cheddar cheese and sun-dried tomato pesto. And for afters, fresh ruby-red strawberries. Perfect. Settling into my chair, I picked up my mental broom and swept all the usual preoccupations of worry and anxiety into tiny little cubicles and locked each one.
Now I was free to gaze at the sky, to feel the wind, to just BE…to really taste the flux of favours in my mouth, to savour the wine as it snaked down my throat, to laugh at this freedom. I realised that the smile had not left my face.
I thought about how this time of solitude was pristine and special because it is so hard to come by. Were I single and lived this way always, would it be quite so special, or would I grow lonely and bored with the predictability of aloneness? Many times, the value of things is highlighted by the backdrop it’s held up against. Contrast is the key.
Last night I caught Christian quadriplegic, Joni Eareckson Tada, on TV as I channel-surfed. She spoke with such passion about 2 Corinthians 4:17. “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory…” and she said that for quadriplegics and paraplegics, decades of paralysis don’t seem like a light affliction, BUT, she said, when compared to the scope of eternity, all of this present day suffering (in light of the fact that our lives are but a mist and a vapour) is accruing an exceeding and eternal weight of glory. She looked positively triumphant as she said this, and I realised that here was a woman who spent time with God. Here was a woman who believed God was good. Here was a woman of great faith.
She said that many disabled people did not see things the way she did. No surprises there. But she wanted to be able to reach out to them and share this viewpoint and this faith which could give them hope and freedom. So she set up her website called http://www.joniandfriends.org/ Such selflessness. She wants to bring others this hope even if , I suspect, she knows others will mock her as a Pollyanna. Still, she reaches out because she cares.
I laughed to recall that today, for the first time, I signed up to “Santa Call” and arranged for Santa to ring me so I could give him my wish list. There was nothing material on my wish list other than a brand new two-storey house that could better accommodate the thousands of books that now lie under sofas and against couches for lack of wall-space against which to place bookshelves! 🙂 Other than that, everything else I wanted with hunger was, in some sense, spiritual: happiness, shalom, better relationships, etc.
I gaze at the sky and think that the sky has no need of stuff, whereas I always feel the need for stuff, mostly books, and, more books. I have never fathomed the source of this addiction., but the state of my house convinces me that I need deliverance! How can I create when I am hemmed in with too much stuff?
So, in the coming year, my desire is to simplify and to shed. I want to create. There are so many dreams waiting to be born, to see the light of day. But for as long as my life remains as crowded as it is now, I do not see any runway for the plane of my dreams to take off, to free itself from the ground.
I want to see with spiritual eyes. I want to see into things, beyond the now, to the eternal significance of things. What kind of person do I need to become so that I can live like that? What kind of person do I need to become?