I went in to see my chiropractor for a semi-dislocated shoulder and an injured knee. Little did I know I’d get some life coaching thrown in. 🙂
As we were finishing up, I asked him, “Guy, since you’re an alternative therapist, could you recommend someone I could see who could help me with these stomach pains I’ve been getting, along with headaches and difficulty breathing?”
“Lie down. Have you had any anxiety issues?”
“Yes, planning the trip to Australia last month, and then planning the longer trip to America this month. There’s so much to anticipate and organise.”
He listened, and then spent some time treating me with cranio-sacral therapy (my favorite therapeutic approach). Afterwards, I felt calmer.
“People get anxious because they have all these worries floating around in their heads. When you get home, why don’t you write down on a piece of paper all of the things you’re worried about that you CAN control, and all of the things that you CAN’T control,” he suggested. “All of the stuff that you CAN’T control, forget about them. There’s nothing you can do about them anyway. Focus your energy on the things you can control, and you’ll feel like you’re getting things done. Once you do that, all the other stuff outside of your control won’t matter.”
I did that as soon as I got home, and have been checking things off my list, feeling like I’m going somewhere. The list under “Things I Can”t Control” featured items like volcanic eruptions/ash clouds, earthquakes, and hurricanes that could interfere with our travel plans. As I wrote them down, it hit me how senseless it was to worry about trying to see into the future and anticipate what might happen so that I could plan ahead of time what to do if the worst happened. All it did was generate stomach-churning dread. Besides, how can anyone even guess where they’ll be when “the worst” happens, or surmise what they’ll be able to do?
I am a planner. I constantly wish I had a crystal ball so I could peer into the future and plan sufficiently to protect and safeguard myself and my family. This is probably why, when I was receiving cranio-sacral treatment another time, the therapist led me in guided imagery and I felt led to forgive. When I asked who it was I needed to forgive. The answer was “Yourself – for taking the burden for everything on yourself and not inviting others to help you. Yourself – for thinking you are God.”
I have a hard time letting God BE God. I often think He needs help because He’s got so much on His plate. Learning to TRUST God for the things I can’t control means that, even if things don’t work out the way I want them to, I can trust that things happen for a good reason, and that He who gave His one and only Son for me will not withhold from me any good thing; and, will always want what’s best for me, and work things out for my good – even if I might not agree with His way of doing things, His timing, or the means He chooses to achieve His good ends.
I have to laugh at myself for constantly trying to be SuperMom, though. I am an inveterate never-give-upper! Learning to let go and depend on someone or others to help is the hardest thing for me. But, I suspect, that if I do let others, including God, help me, then that hidden, forgotten part of me that has atrophied might come to life again. I’d be very curious to meet that part and renew my acquaintance. 🙂